Back in the Groove

Upon leaving San Francisco, I felt severely disoriented in a way I have never experienced. I only wish there were a hidden camera videotape available to show you all: if there were, you would see me standing in front of the "Departures" screen in the United terminal at SFO, simply staring for a very long while, unable to determine if I was going to Chicago or San Francisco. At the gate, I watched people and wondered if they were San Francisco natives or just going there on vacation, forgetting that I was already there and that "going home" meant Chicago. As the plane was close to touching down in this place where I was to see my family again, I found myself looking out the window in search of the ocean. This level of disorientation was unsettling, to say the least.

However, it didn't take long to find terra firma. It would be impossible to be unsure about where I live or still feel that half my heart is sipping a latte up in some palm tree in another city when I am trying to squeeze in a trip to the grocery store to pick up cupcakes for my older son's birthday party at school on the way to my younger son's speech therapy appointment, only to find that said younger son has stepped in dog poop and I have to spend an extra 10 minutes scrubbing it out of what seems like the entirety of the back seat. I then rush off to the store, still sure we both smell like dog shit, grab 30 semi-frozen cupcakes and drop them off on the front porch of my house because I don't have time to even bring them in. Luckily, my husband works from home and can retrieve them later and bring them to school, so off I go to the appointment. At some point, I started laughing to myself about the fact that obviously I am no longer on vacation, and have returned to my regular, fantastically glamourous life. Toto, we're not at the Flood Mansion anymore.

But really, what fun to be home, and on Baxter's 6th birthday! The boy was all happiness and sweetness, and the highlight for me was spending over 2 hours sitting on the floor playing, making Lego creations with him and sneaking glances at his top tooth that is loose and turned at a snaggly angle, leaving a big gap already. I have loved my baby days with these boys, but I am really seeing the fun of having a big kid; he couldn't help but snicker when I screwed up the police station we were making, and continued to chuckle to himself for a while. My kid can make fun of me now! I love it. He casually threw out the phrase "shut up" just to see what would happen (and because he is smart, he did not experiment with it on me, but rather himself!) and a fabulous conversation ensued. There is a comaraderie that exists with an older child that is really wonderful.

So I am reoriented, and while I can't wait for my next visit to San Francisco for the holidays, I am content to be here and continue to build this life we've begun. It's off to a great start.