Ho Hum

Having relocated to Chicago, of course we have had to find a whole new set of doctors, dentists, hairstylists, etc. In the process, I have discovered an interesting phenomenon here.

It all started with the children's hair place. A couple of moms recommended a place called Snippets on Clybourn. Very cute. Similar to Snippety Crickets in San Francisco, but way fancier. There was lots for the kids to do while they waited, and Lyle was completely over the moon about the shiny vehicle-shaped chairs he could choose from. The thing that was weird to me, that I'd never seen before, was that there were TVs in front of each chair. For the little ones, there was a Dora the Explorer video playing. In the big kid area, where Baxter got his hair cut, there was a Nintendo Game Cube for each child. Lyle paid no attention to Dora, he was happy enough to be sitting in a car. For Baxter, this was his first experience with a video game and he was beside himself. He played some snowboarding game that he still talks about. The child who has a life-long hatred of hair cuts begged for more. "When can I get another haircut?" he asked excitedly. It was a miracle. So don't get me wrong, I understand the reason they do this, and it works. And I don't really care that he was playing a video game at age 5; I mean, it's once every couple months for a few minutes. No big deal. I'm sure I'll take them back there.

So then a few moms recommended a great pediatric dentist to me. We haven't been yet, the boys are going next week. The mom who told me the most about it is one who does not allow TV at home. She confided that although this dentist is really excellent, she shows the kids - yep, you guessed it - a video while they get their teeth cleaned. Now, I have no doubt that Baxter will also be asking to go back to the dentist as soon as he can. This too will be miraculous, and I'm certain it will make this appointment easier as well.

I guess what I struggle with is that adults in America seem hell-bent on pacifing kids during every uncomfortable or unpleasant life experience with videos or video games. "Does your child fidgit during a haircut? Does she get nervous at the sight of the dental chair? Hate car rides over an hour? Have we got the solution for you!"

Like I said, I understand each individual situation. But at what point will we wake up and realize that our kids have not learned to tolerate a little discomfort, boredom, or anxiety? It's not our job to remove those things from their lives; I think it's our job to help them learn to make the best of it. For goodness sake, play some fun games in the car. Listen to books on tape, look at books, listen to some fun music, or just be quiet a while and look out the window. Sure, if you're flying with an antsy preschooler for more than a few hours, pull out that DVD player for a little while, but make sure you've exhausted the other possibilities first. And is there really anything wrong with requring them to suck it up and deal when it's time for a haircut?

We are going to discover that our kids are complaining of boredom non-stop because we have been right there at all times to provide external entertainment. They will have no idea how to amuse themselves creatively or how to get through something uncomfortable by using their internal resources. And believe me, bored kids will turn into insufferable adults; something none of us wants.