Area Docs Confounded by Mysterious "Nerd Flu"

The Chicagoland medical community is abuzz with reports that the affliction suffered by the Sadler Gordon boys (reported here and here in previous editions) has "jumped" to their mother, Jordan Sadler.

"There's no precedent for this, no literature on this. None," reports a befuddled Dr. Ignatio P. Freehley, the woman's personal physician.

Ms. Sadler has suffered from a staggering loss of intelligence, as measured by recently-adminitstered IQ tests. Since loss of intelligence seems to be the affliction's most damaging symptom, local doctors have nicknamed the disease "Nerd Flu".

Beyond the test scores, concerned family and friends report a marked decrease in basic life skills. "I mean, c'mon! A gym T-shirt with a skirt? She never would have done that before," worried her husband, Matt Gordon. "It's like she's going outside with half a pair of pajamas on."

More complex tasks leave Ms. Sadler completely helpless. "It's always, 'Blogger's not working right!' or 'How do I fill out this form?'" complained Mr. Gordon. "And don't even get me started on the parking tickets!"

The mysterious affliction has shown no signs of relenting; both of Ms. Sadler's children continue to spend a good portion of their day belly flopping on the woman's bed.

Mr. Gordon has no concerns about his own well-being, beyond a self-reported "queasy stomach" that's been "bothering" him for a couple days. Doctors hope that as a native Midwesterner, his system is immune to whatever is afflicting the rest of his family.