Chicagoween

Once again, Chicago has said it loud and clear: this is a city for children. We have never seen so much hoopla over Halloween -- anywhere! I caught myself on Sunday referring to the holiday in the past tense as if it were completely over; that's how much pre-Halloween festivity we had already enjoyed by that point. To give you an idea, there were four Halloween parties before we actually went trick-or-treating. But on to the real thing...

This afternoon the boys and I walked over to our local business district on Lincoln Avenue for a Trick-or-Treat extravaganza. Just walking up and down a 2-block stretch filled their candy bags to capacity. After dinner we all went out to some houses in the neighborhood and had a great time.

There were so many more trick-or-treaters here than in San Francisco! Within the first five minutes of dinner we had as many kids at the door as we would get in a whole night in the Inner Sunset. Also, we actually knew well over half the families who came to our door; it's hard to describe what a satisfying feeling that is. As annoying as it was that the owners' realtor came and made available an Open House tonight (HUH?!), it was gratifying to have near-strangers make faces at me, demonstrating quietly that they could see just how lame that was and that they knew it sucked for us. People here are really awfully nice.

My two favorite moments tonight were:

1) When Lyle suddenly "got it" -- this trick-or-treating thing, it wasn't only about putting on his doggy costume. It was ALSO about getting treats! He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, pulled out his first candy and held it up to me in wonder, exclaiming, "Dessert!"

2) When Baxter, in a big crowd of people, got caught up in the excitement and yelled out, "Look at that guy dressed up like a dog!!!" We all turned and looked: it was a dog.

What's with the "Miss"?

It was bad enough when I had to start saying it to my kids: "Miss Susan is a great soccer coach, isn't she?"or "Miss Amanda can really kick that ball!" But when my clients started coming in and calling me "Miss Jordan", I thought I was going to jump out a window from the sheer irritation of it. To me, it's the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. "I get to play with Miss Jordan today," says one of my clients, sweetly. "NO, YOU DON'T!!! NOT IF YOU KEEP CALLING ME THAT NAME!!!" I want to shout. I have worked with families from coast to coast, including midwestern Minnesota, and nowhere have I encountered this Miss thing. Will I ever get used to it? Tune in in about 10 years and I'll let you know, because I'm sure it won't happen sooner than that.

Feeling Settled

Phew. Matt and I are starting to feel like the tide has turned: most of our moving "to do" list is checked off and now we are simply living here. The list was long, let me tell you. Everything from new insurance, new driver's licenses and new doctors/dentists/hairstylists, to setting up my entire new practice and hiring an accountant to help me create a new financial system for my business. And those are just a few of the tasks we've undertaken in these past three and a half months. New, new, new. When I think about it, I am kind of amazed that I got any sleep, actually. But suddenly this week, with the last few big items completed, we find ourselves more focused on just being here.

We can be more relaxed ourselves, and we see it in the kids, too. Baxter seems to have come out on the other side of his moving anxieties: he is no longer afraid of being in a 2-story house (I can go upstairs without him now!) and he is so well-behaved that it's hard to even imagine the fireworks of late summer/early fall. He has good friends at school and was just invited to his first birthday party here. And that earlier concern about his drawing and writing? Well, he's getting a lot of practice at Burley and his handwriting looks beautiful. This morning, cuddling with me in bed, he told me about a vision he was having of "many dots coming together to make a farm with hills and a white gate" - he immediately got up and went to his "work desk" while I made breakfast, and colored a wonderful, detailed picture of it for me.

I'd say we're all feeling good, and the timing couldn't be better. I'm really looking forward to the fall and winter holidays here.

Bluster

What is it about cold weather that makes men and women of all ages
turn on the machismo? It's been cold here for a couple weeks now, and
people just love to point out that they don't need a hat, or that
they're not wearing gloves, or that we must be wimps for needing some
piece of outerwear that they're getting by without.

Yes, I know that it will get colder. Much, much colder. I lived here
for the first 18 years of my life, after all, and spent the next four
in a place much colder than this. I can bore you with stories about
braving the elements in a -90º Farenheit wind chill to help my friend
Becky move her college belongings into storage.

But that's not my point. My point is this — what's the matter with
dressing to keep the cold at bay, even if it's a comparatively balmy
40 degrees? Yes, I know it will get colder than this. But that
doesn't make me any less comfortable in my silkweight long johns.

And why is there no comparable summertime machismo? Why, when it's
only 70 degrees, does no one snidely comment, "Oh, don't worry, it
will get SO much hotter than this..."? I think everyone who laughs
now at those of us in gloves should be required to wear their
sweaters until the mercury hits 95. Yaknow, just so I don't think
they're some kind of weather wimp.

Midwestern Work Ethic

Matt and I have both noticed this in the past few weeks: people here work hard and take things seriously.

I noticed it immediately on a professional level - I swear, every one of my colleagues seems to be almost "collecting" certifications. Whereas in San Francisco it was just fine to be of a particular bent in your work, here it seems to be expected that you'll jump through the hoops required to be a certified practioner of any given technique. I am not inclined to do so myself while the boys are so young (these certifications tend to be extremely expensive and take years to accomplish), but I have never seen so many of my colleagues doing so before. I have had to get over the initial pressure I felt to do the same.

So last night when Matt went to his first improv class in Chicago, I had a suspicion that it was not going to be like the one in San Francisco at BATS. Sure enough, he reported that it was very different. Sounds like perhaps it will involve more serious learning and less random silliness. I'm sure, though, that whatever random silliness there is will be initiated by my husband.

Anyway, as we talked about these things last night we realized that we are not on the loosey goosey West Coast anymore where (nearly) anything goes. It makes me extra grateful that Matt still works for a San Francisco office and I work for myself. To a certain extent, we can come and go as we please, and I'm really appreciating that.

Toto, It's Not September Anymore

The difference between September and October in Chicago? When you go out running at 6 AM in October there is to be no walking to get warmed up first: you have to run the second you leave your house or face the threat of turning into an icy statue on Belmont. It's also a hell of a lot darker at that hour than it used to be.

Wardrobe Changes

It's only October and already my wardrobe revolves around fleece.

Dead Ringer

I'm glad they got his hair out of his eyes, really I am. And he sure did like sitting in that shiny red car. But did they have to make him look like Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber"??

Nothing Says Fall Like -- Snow??

I can hear the laughter from here. Howling, actually, from friends and family on the West Coast. I know this is really unusual in mid-October, but let's face it - it's part of that unpredictable weather I claimed to love. And actually, the snow has been really exciting and fun to watch, and makes the sudden cold temperatures easier to accept. I'm also really appreciative of the good insulation that Chicago homes have; as you may recall, that was a bit of a problem in San Francisco. It may be 30 degrees outside, but somehow it's still 65 inside without any heat on.

I can't imagine how hard Baxter's teacher has had to work this morning to keep her California native in his seat.

Another Day in Paradise

You wouldn't know, just by looking at these happy little hooligans, that they'd had one heck of a day. Baxter's started with a trip to the pediatric opthalmologist - for those of you following the "vision" thread of our lives, it's apparently perfectly normal for a child to occasionally see purple and green splotches at the outer edges of his vision. And the headaches? Probably allergies (or a smart 5-year old trying to make his need for glasses really obvious). In truth, we hadn't been that worried until his pediatrician became concerned after he failed the vision screening recently. So, phew, no glasses - at least not yet!

With Baxter's eyes still dilated, he and his brother were tricked into a trip to the doctor for their annual flu shots this afternoon. "Why do we need to see Dr. Rauen again?" Baxter asked, perplexed. "Oh, " I said casually, finally learning how to get him in there without a fit. "She just wants us to check in this afternoon - it'll be quick." Umm, yeah, except for that part that won't be quick when we have to peel all 55 pounds of you off the floor where you are kicking and screaming (just the slightest bit better than last year because you'll actually make it to the exam room before freaking out).

Trying to make the best of things, I had some treats in my bag to help take their minds off their troubles after the shots. On the way home, we saw that there was a pumpkin patch set up next to Baxter's school so we parked and walked over there. On the way, Baxter's attempt to hold Lyle back from the street was, shall we say, "overzealous", and Lyle bit him in self-defense. "He knew my OTHER arm already hurt from my shot and he just wanted THIS arm to hurt, too!", he cried. Well, honey, I'm afraid your little brother wasn't thinking quite so strategically when you put him in a headlock and forced him to the ground.

But somehow, by the time we reached the front porch and added our new pumpkin to our existing collection, they were all smiles again.

Fall Trees

It is a gorgeous Columbus Day weekend here. I know our trees will soon be more brown, more yellow, more orange. However, the leaves seem to be falling so quickly that I fear I will wake up one day and will have missed our fall trees shot altogether.

Ho Hum

Having relocated to Chicago, of course we have had to find a whole new set of doctors, dentists, hairstylists, etc. In the process, I have discovered an interesting phenomenon here.

It all started with the children's hair place. A couple of moms recommended a place called Snippets on Clybourn. Very cute. Similar to Snippety Crickets in San Francisco, but way fancier. There was lots for the kids to do while they waited, and Lyle was completely over the moon about the shiny vehicle-shaped chairs he could choose from. The thing that was weird to me, that I'd never seen before, was that there were TVs in front of each chair. For the little ones, there was a Dora the Explorer video playing. In the big kid area, where Baxter got his hair cut, there was a Nintendo Game Cube for each child. Lyle paid no attention to Dora, he was happy enough to be sitting in a car. For Baxter, this was his first experience with a video game and he was beside himself. He played some snowboarding game that he still talks about. The child who has a life-long hatred of hair cuts begged for more. "When can I get another haircut?" he asked excitedly. It was a miracle. So don't get me wrong, I understand the reason they do this, and it works. And I don't really care that he was playing a video game at age 5; I mean, it's once every couple months for a few minutes. No big deal. I'm sure I'll take them back there.

So then a few moms recommended a great pediatric dentist to me. We haven't been yet, the boys are going next week. The mom who told me the most about it is one who does not allow TV at home. She confided that although this dentist is really excellent, she shows the kids - yep, you guessed it - a video while they get their teeth cleaned. Now, I have no doubt that Baxter will also be asking to go back to the dentist as soon as he can. This too will be miraculous, and I'm certain it will make this appointment easier as well.

I guess what I struggle with is that adults in America seem hell-bent on pacifing kids during every uncomfortable or unpleasant life experience with videos or video games. "Does your child fidgit during a haircut? Does she get nervous at the sight of the dental chair? Hate car rides over an hour? Have we got the solution for you!"

Like I said, I understand each individual situation. But at what point will we wake up and realize that our kids have not learned to tolerate a little discomfort, boredom, or anxiety? It's not our job to remove those things from their lives; I think it's our job to help them learn to make the best of it. For goodness sake, play some fun games in the car. Listen to books on tape, look at books, listen to some fun music, or just be quiet a while and look out the window. Sure, if you're flying with an antsy preschooler for more than a few hours, pull out that DVD player for a little while, but make sure you've exhausted the other possibilities first. And is there really anything wrong with requring them to suck it up and deal when it's time for a haircut?

We are going to discover that our kids are complaining of boredom non-stop because we have been right there at all times to provide external entertainment. They will have no idea how to amuse themselves creatively or how to get through something uncomfortable by using their internal resources. And believe me, bored kids will turn into insufferable adults; something none of us wants.

Area Woman Shocked by Quality Latte (Readers Shocked by Clarity of Her Uvula)

A public thank you goes out to the Tassavas for telling me about Intelligentsia coffee shop. I had a cancellation today so I left the office and drove over there to do some work on my laptop. The latte was excellent and the setting was great - a welcome break from Starbucks. They didn't even try to tell me what kind of music I should be listening to with those racks next to the register. How refreshing!

I will surely go back; it may be a couple miles away but well worth the trip. I know where I'll be buying my coffee beans next time around.

Hey! That's not nice!

When you live on the coasts for a while (Jordan and I did for 11
years), you start to see the Midwest the same way coastal natives do
— it's a bunch of big states in the middle of the country that are
all pretty much the same. Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana are
all interchangeable in a native Californian's mind, thought of as
(when thought about at all) "those big M states I fly over on my way
to the East Coast."

Now, as a native of the Midwest, I knew there *were* differences. But
as I prepared for our move, I started thinking along these lines:

Chicago = Midwest = Minnesota = Minnesota Nice™

Not so much. Chicago may be in the Midwest, but it's not into the
"nice" thing the way other places are. It's no Boston, where
strangers are greeted with a snarl, but it's definitely less polite
than San Francisco.

This is particularly apparent when dealing with the capital-C City.
The library, the DMV, and the CTA are great places to have your self-
esteem trounced on. City employees can all somehow do their jobs
(which is, after all, to serve their customers) without even
acknowledging said customer's existence. "Oh, did dare to think I was
worth the slightest hint of human connection? How silly!"

But it's not just the staff. People blow by me on their way out of
the library and the YMCA as if I were their doorman. No "thank you",
no smile, no head nod. Hell, I'd settle for a snarl at this point.

Drivers regularly accelerate through the crosswalk at the end of our
block while Baxter and I wait patiently under the "School Crossing"
sign. I didn't realize how often this happens until today after
school, when yet another driver pulled out of the four-way stop
without letting us cross. "Hey!" Baxter yelled, "That's not nice!"

She's Going on About the Burritos Again

Some things I really appreciate about Chicago:

1) Friendly construction workers. They wave, they smile, they wink. No, not at me, silly...at LYLE. I can't get over how friendly they are. "Hey, big guy, you're back!" one called out to him the other day. A potato chip truck driver stopped and gave him a couple bags of chips recently. (Too bad it was Jay's - yuck!) Today he and I watched a bulldozer for a while and the driver paid so much attention to him, it was really cute. I'm sure it makes their day a little more interesting to have an audience. Kind of like Mike Mulligan.

2) Cheap parking meters. I wonder if this will ever seem normal to me. A quarter? For an HOUR? In a hip neighborhood? Huh?! After shelling out 6 quarters for an hour all over San Francisco, this is amazing to me. Oh, and there's 2-hour metered parking, not a measly ONE hour.

3) The grid. I know, how boring is it that our streets are laid out on a grid? Well, admittedly very boring, except that you know what? I can actually find my way around. Last night (Oma, don't read this) I left a restaurant at 10 PM at the height of that huge storm. I drove a friend home and then made my way home, getting turned back from major arteries due to flash flooding. It took me 45 minutes to do a drive that is normally 5 minutes because so many roads were closed. If I'd been in Boston or San Francisco, I'd have been completely lost within minutes, but thanks to the big old grid, I knew where I was at all times.

Some things that are missing in Chicago:

Let me just say up front, I think most of these are going to be food-related.

1) Independent coffee houses. I have never in my life bought so much Starbucks. In particular, I miss The Beanery on Irving St. and cannot wait to bring a few pounds of coffee home with me in November. However, I would take almost any independent coffee place. There's a great bar on every corner but just try to find a good coffee place that's not a big chain and you're at a loss here. Matt and I walked for blocks in Lincoln Park and came up empty-handed.

(And I think this is, in general, something that's hard to get used to here - all the big box chain stores. We were used to shopping at a lot more of the smaller, independent stores and just going to the big ones once in a while. There are some nice places in our neighborhood but in the mile between my house and work I pass Jewel/Osco, Office Depot, Costco, and quite a few others. Target, which does not have a store in San Francisco proper, seems to be everywhere. I know it has a lot to do with the fact that there is space here for all that, and I do appreciate that.)

2) Burritos. I know, I've mentioned this before, but it's a biggie. What's with the refried beans? We have tried to narrow our search for a great burrito by only going to a place that offers black beans, but even that doesn't help. Most of the time they're over-cooked. And lettuce? If I wanted salad, I'd order it. These aren't tacos, folks! Guacamole is hard to come by, too, and when they offer it, you have to pay a lot for it. We miss the steamers they use in San Francisco - these grilled numbers just aren't doing it for us. And, as Matt wants me to add, here they cut them in half but then don't give you foil for them so you have to use a knife and fork. Wussy.

3) The selection at the grocery store. I'm not talking about the Jewel. I'm talking about Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, two stores I know we are very lucky to have. (I just talked to a client in Urbana who recently drove two hours to go to our Whole Foods store.) But it's very weird - the selection of some foods, particularly breads, seems really poor. Just try to find a really good wheat bread. This is one that I wasn't allowing to get to me until Matt brought it up this week, but he's right; it's weird.

4) The quality of food at most restaurants. In our experience, Chicago restaurants have gone overboard on quantity (the quantity of choices on the menu as well as quantity of the food that is served) and let a lot go on quality.

I think this is normal, that many restaurants in a city would be sort of average and a few would be really excellent. We now understand how spoiled we were in San Francisco, where just about any neighborhood place at 9th/Irving beat the pants off of most everything we've had here so far. After an expensive and not-so-great meal recently, Matt and I started to tick off the names of places we used to take for granted because they were just the places we'd walk to for a quick dinner out (e.g., Park Chow, Hotei, Marnee Thai, PJ's Oyster House, Canvas Cafe - the list goes on!). Not only are we looking for a good burrito, but we are in the market for good Thai and Indian. When I think about my trip to San Francisco next month, at least half of my thoughts are on where I want to eat while I'm there! I did have an excellent dinner last night at a great new Italian place called Il Covo on Damen, right near my office, so things are looking up. And of course there are thousands more places for us to try.


But you know, what's funny is that I feel like I'm being disloyal to Chicago when I say these things. I can't believe I already feel loyal to this new city, but Chicago has been ridiculously good to us. I shake my head in disbelief every day when I look at our life here and think about how easy it was to put together a very happy existence. So, in truth, it's all, relatively speaking, quite minor.